Be brave enough to ask for help
Hands up if you are a problem solver and can ask for help! Surely a superpower in the modern age. Someone who in one hand can figure stuff out, tap into their strengths and step in to be a helper, but also know when to cut your losses and admit defeat. To put your hand up and mutter those words, ‘Can you help me?’.
Between us, I am very keen to seek out help. As everyone loves to be a helper at some point in their lives, especially if that is their thing. When the thing we struggle with is actually someone else’s strength, it just seems right that we ask them for help. In the end, it results in a win win. A sense of purpose and connection is shared.
Recently, as I sat on the train back from Newcastle, I fixed the mobile phone of the girl who sat next to me. She was a tourist, I could tell she had that feeling in your tummy when you are ‘in a situation’. I switched on my problem solver mode and told her we would get it sorted – the words you want to hear when your tummy is doing cartwheels as you manage the anxious feelings.
I recognised that look of relief when I handed her phone back, working again. We soon got chatting. She’d never visited Scotland before and was eagerly looking out the window. She asked, ‘Are you Scottish?’. I nodded.
As we left the train in the Scottish capital, I waved her off and told her to have the best time. Then reminded her if she needs any help during her trip to simply ask a fellow Scottish person. We are a super friendly bunch.
I was happy to be able to be a helper, there is something satisfying about being able to support someone through life. Be a support act in their journey.
A few days later, I left my flat for a blue sky bike ride before I was halted in my tracks with a flat rear tyre. My mind quickly whizzed to my options, how I needed my bike for some plans I had over the upcoming days, and I concluded it was either
1. Attempt to fix the puncture myself, potentially waste hours of my life and get the rage OR
2. Pump up my type, cycle ten minutes into the heart of the Westend of Glasgow to the bike man, who has previously fixed up my chain.
Of course, there was only one option. I was soon at the shop door of the bike man, who agreed I had made the correct decision. He would have me back on the road in ten minutes. £10 later, tunes blaring, I was back in the bicycle action. He wiped his hands in satisfaction and I felt the cool breeze of the autumn night on my face as I cycled through the streets of Glasgow.
People waste their precious time and energy with a ‘ I can do this all by myself’ attitude. Carrying this perfectionist outlook around with them. Prepared to struggle through life, in fear of being seen as a failure if they admit they could do with a helping hand. When in fact not being able to admit you need help is a failure. We need to remind ourselves we are human beings, not robots. We all have strengths, so tap into these. And remember we also have precious time, so from what I learned that night identify when you could do with some help then ask for help!
Life will continue and you will be a little further forward. You will feel more connected with a realisation some days you will be a helper, and other days you can rely on others. How good does that feel?
“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” ― Ziad K. Abdelnour