Don’t let anxious thoughts stop you living

Travelling forces you to adapt to the situation you find yourself in. You are 'playing' in an environment where everything is unfamiliar, this can lead to that feeling called 'the anxious tummy', when you encounter a 'situation'. A situation where you have triggered your response system. Resulting in sweaty palms, an increased heart rate, deeper breathing. Your senses now operating on alert. Danger is on the horizon.

It's our job to assess the danger, real or perceived, address the situation and manage through the flight or fright response by contextualising your environment to yourself. It sounds strange but we control the narrative that is being played out in our minds. So there is a need to get hold of the reigns of your anxious mind and start to soothe it, giving it a real time update, to clearly signpost 'we are all good' after you're through the other side of the current predicament.

This is essential to prevent our chimp minds staying stuck in the 'what if' loop it loves to run on, like a crazed hamster shouting out 'but what if you picked the wrong street', thinking you are still lost, hours after you are safe and sound.

Your response, along the lines of 'we are super safe back at the hotel, and have learned to always take our phone with us’, should start to quiet the anxious mind. The hamster wheel is slowing down, as it takes notice. Your anxious mind is part of you, a gift from our tribal ancestors back in the day when we were prey to tigers, so it is your job to make it feel at ease. Reseting your anxious body by slowing your breathing is another sign to your mind that you're back in safety.

And why am I sharing this?

As I think our anxious thoughts, real or perceived, prevent people from stepping into the unknown, where adventure and opportunity live, as our minds are flooding our thoughts with all the what if scenarios from past, similar, experiences. Our chimp mind has been clinging onto that previous, stressful, experience waiting for you to 'chance your luck again'. Instead of realising you are actually taking informed action as you've learned from the past. It dials up the internal chatter in your mind as it predicts a repeat ‘situation’ on the horizon.

It is critical you always close the flight or fright loop by updating your internal dialogue with the facts, which will dial down the anxious thinking. Then slow down your breathing, and repeat some positive affirmations, or a simple “we are safe” mantra.

I was reminded of this on an evening run in Uzbekistan when I couldn't find my hotel, all while running with no phone. What a travel amateur. As I left my hotel I knew I didn’t have my phone, but felt safe as only planned to run a loop around the hotel. I’d checked the route on my phone map before I headed out the entrance, so felt confident. The sun had set leaving a pitch dark backdrop to my run.

As I flowed into my run, turning corners from one street into another I suddenly felt a little anxious. By now, I was expecting to notice the corner that would lead back to my hotel. And I realised pretty quickly i didn’t know where I was. The streets were overun with giant trees creating a leafy canopy, now surrounded by a smokey vibe as the bbq stalls were cooking the meat for the early evening hungry crowd.

With no phone to check my whereabouts I felt very vulnerable. Exposed to the fragility of traversing through life. One minute feeling super confident, next completely lost. I could sense my breathing now, it was heavier. My heart beating faster, my mind racing for a solution.

The solution was pretty simple.

I turned around and effectively ran back the same way until I came to my hotel. Sounds simple but along the run back my tummy was being all 'are we lost' sensitive. It was feeling, well, anxious.

I remained super alert, knowing if I missed a corner, I could get even more lost.

As I saw the sign that I noted on the way out my hotel, I signalled to myself that we were in fact back in the world of the known, and safety. Once back safely at the hotel I spent a minute closing my response loop, where I acknowledged to my chimp mind we were all good. I learned a new city looks very different at night, so always take your phone. My inner dialogue slowed done, and normal thoughts resumed.

My tips to you after you've managed yourself out of a situation:

1. Consciously slow down your breathing. This is a good signal to your body and mind that you are out of danger, back into safety.

2. Update your anxious mind, with the positive, successful outcome. Noting any learnings for the next time, as tricky situations don't prevent there being a next time. It ensures you're informed.

And my final tip, develop a practice to ensure you aren't stuck in a heightened 'what if' thought cycle longer than is necessary, as life is ready to be lived.

'The way I see it, our natural human instinct is to fight or flee that which we perceive to be dangerous. Although this mechanism evolved to protect us, it serves as the single greatest limiting process to our growth. To put this process in perspective and not let it rule my life, I expect the unexpected; make the unfamiliar familiar; make the unknown known; make the uncomfortable comfortable; believe the unbelievable.' ~ Charles F. Glassman