When things go wrong, breathe
The other week in Zadar, I arrived at the wrong ferry port for my island getaway.
As the local lady shook her head I internally gasped as I whispered, "Where should I be?".
With the new address scribbled onto a bit of paper I turned from joyful Jacquelyn into the assertive 'we have a situation' me. Think challenge Anneka from the 90s, remember her!
As I waited on my rescue taxi to arrive, I kept telling myself I'd be on that ferry. Forever the optimist. That's until the Uber cancelled, and the next available car would have been too late.
"Arggghhh", I thought. Probably out loud.
Now holding my breath, I ran up to a local taxi and asked, in a frantically polite manner, to please get me to the correct port for 10.30am. After a bit of discussion, where i was internally muttering 'just drive', we were off.
In fairness, he was amazing and immediately put me at ease.
As he glanced at his clock he reassured me we'd make it, 'no problem'. This was before we hit a new situation.
We kept hitting traffic, the kind that wasn't moving. He was getting stressed on my behalf, glancing back and gesturing forward. Shrugging his shoulders, and now holding his breath.
Meanwhile, I was box breathing for the two of us, trying to keep him Croatia chill. I explained if I miss it, I miss it, and we can only control what we can, but if we can make it then let's try.
After some F1-inspired manoeuvres, we arrived to the port with minutes to spare. I threw euros into his hand, before wildly grabbing my luggage and hugging him, just as I realised I couldn't find my boat!
The actual scenes were borderline hysterical.
He's pointing at the middle of three ferries to which I can see a later departure time displayed. With minutes to spare, I intuitively turned left, and like most of my slightly dramatic situations, strolled on, like the recent panic was not required.
And the best bit, the ferry fort was within walking distance of where I was staying. Ahahaha.
Although I travel alone, I know in a heartbeat I can find myself in a situation that I haven't planned for. Rather than sit at home and 'what if' until I'm a crazed version of myself, I'd much rather have a flexible and curious mindset, With a belief I can get myself out of situations while regulating my nervous system on the go, ready for the next adventure.
I resist theurge to go all mean girl on myself, I don’t see the point in negative self-talk. I do always ask myself what I would have done differently and move on, adding it to my toolkit for a future point when I'm in doubt, to pull out a memory that states, 'Remember that time you nearly missed your ferry but didn’t'.
The journey of life is here, and we can't control most of it. Instead, we need to learn to breathe and to trust ourselves and others. Cultivating the inner belief that it will always work out, with a whole load of learning thrown in.
Some techniques to help when life goes awry:
Focus your breath - Deep long purposeful breaths keep you firmly in the present moment
Fast forward & consider all the possibilities - Accept the situation, ‘It is happening’, but have all your options to hand.
Keep perspective - unless you are in a life-threatening situation, know you will survive. See the funny side, there will be one.
Keep open - Open-minded, open-bodied, open to help, and open to another outcome.
Prime your self-talk - Talk to yourself with nourishing words, you and your mind should be a team.
“Try something different – surrender.” Rumi