How is your Inner Chimp?

How is your Inner Chimp? Now, this isn’t a question you don’t hear that often but it should be. You and the chimp should be best pals. Navigating life together.

So let’s start with the basics - who is this chimp I refer to? I first heard about the concept of our noisy mind from reading the book, The Chimp Paradox from Prof Steve Peters.

The Chimp Model is an incredibly powerful neuroscience tool that once understood can allow you to understand yourself and others around you. Provide the understanding to control your mind and become healthier, and more successful. Produce a calmer version of you, more in control of your emotions and reactions.

The model allows you to easily understand our two thinking brains and how to leverage them.

The inner Chimp is the emotional voice(s) within the brain that thinks and acts for us without our permission. Yes, those voices in your mind aren’t necessary you – most of them are programs.

The logical voice is the real you; rational and compassionate. It can see sense and apply reason. Sometimes it is the voice that appears when we sleep on situations, that the night before we were losing our mind over “how dare they say that” the next morning becomes “I suppose I can understand their point of view”.

Then there is what is known as your computer, the memory bank of previous experiences for reference i.e. “ Oh I’ve experienced this situation before, what was the outcome, ok so that is how I feel about that”.

Here are some simple ways to manage your chimp, your overly emotional self, so it doesn’t manage you:

Don’t fight the chimp, nurture it

Talking to it and building a relationship should be as normal as brushing your teeth. It is part of us and needs parenting, otherwise it will rule the roost. You can consider your inner chimp as your inner child, prone to tantrums. Each day, and throughout the day, check in on your inner chimp. Listen to it and figure out what is going on. What does it need? Validation, reassurance, guidance, or a little clarity. The list and answers really could be anything, that is why it is important to listen and nurture the chimp.

Let the Chimp Speak its mind

Let the chimp have its say, it is part of you after all. Or it will keep trying to annoyingly grab your attention when you least expect it. Give it some time and space to announce what it needs to announce. Sometimes that even means having a wee tantrum to let out all your frustrations.

By allowing It to speak the chimp will start to settle. Phew. A bit like a child demanding your attention. Sometimes you just need to look the child in the eye and listen. This is the same for the chimp. Let the chimp download for a set period of time – say 15 mins – nonstop. It will eventually get tired and even bored of itself. As the chimp is speaking, your rational reasoning will kick in - all you need to do is listen.  Self Awareness is key to keeping control of the chimp.

Be Careful who the chimp talks to

An out-of-control chimp is to be handled with care, so choose your audience. If the chimp needs to express itself choose a friend rather than the person involved in the incident. Don’t overreact before you have allowed your chimp some time to breathe. It can be very lively and want to ‘get even’ by telling the person exactly what it thinks. With no rational overlay. It is a recipe for disaster. That is why we should always sleep on situations or at least share with someone we trust so we can download how our emotional mind is feeling, rationalize our thoughts and gain perspective.

Go Over Things a few times

Emotion takes a long time to process. We need to run over challenges in our minds a few times before the chimp in us is able to accept them. Journaling can help or say out loud what you are thinking as only then do you press pause on your emotional mind and allow your rational mind to kick in, to gain control. If you wake during the night, any thoughts and feelings you might experience are from your Chimp. They can often be very disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective. Then in the morning, a new version of you appears where you can see things differently. Like a light bulb has switched off the negative thoughts and allowed you to rationalise them.

As Steve Peters reminds us, ‘I am an adult and I can deal with any situation. Life is not fair. Everything that happens comes and goes. Disappointments are tough but they need to be kept in perspective. Happiness can be found in many ways. It’s the way you deal with things, not what happens, that gives peace of mind. Every day is precious.’