Life Lesson number one - Ask for help

Go on, put your hand up and ask for help. It sounds simple, but for so many, it doesn’t feel natural. We have been shown and taught to muddle through life, make do, or just figure it out best we can rather than seek help. Even if help is available.

My attitude is different. If I know someone that can help my current situation, I will ask for their help. Yes, I could maybe figure it out but it would take longer and likely lead to further drama. Whereas if that person is the owner of ‘the help’ then they are usually waiting to serve the next person in distress. We are all here to serve each other, but first we need to be open to the idea. Rather than remain a tight fisted, tight lipped martyr.

Let’s look at an example, a recent predicament in my life.

While out cycling during my lunchtime break, enjoying the unexpected sunshine and blue skies in Glasgow, I encountered a tricky situation – my bike chain fell off. My first reaction was to declare to the universe, “Eek”.

As I glanced down at the chain dangling in mid-air I made a sound of discomfort signalling I needed to figure this out. I quickly thought ‘should I know how to fix this?’. My response was to have a go but it became trickly. There was a chain guard in the way. As I tried to manoeuvre it, my fingers were now covered in oil and the chain was no nearer being fixed than when I started.

The clock was ticking as I had to be back home for the afternoon WFH session. I glanced around the bustling west end of Glasgow and spotted a couple of males perched near their bikes – ‘hurray my saviours’, I thought.

How wrong was I, 100% incorrect.

As I asked for some help, they both looked over my shoulder and shook their heads then replied with a cryptic clue ‘find the Chinese man across from Zizzi’s, he will fix it’.

‘What?’, I thought. As I stared at them both and repeated the cryptic clue, they nodded in agreement.

As I glanced down at my dirty fingers I thought, ‘ You have two options here’:

1. Abort my lunch break shopping mission and walk the twenty minutes home to try to somehow figure it out, probably using a YouTube video, and wasting my precious time or

2. Find the Chinese man across from Zizzi’s (the restaurant)

I continued to awkwardly tiptoe through the afternoon sun-seekers, man handling my bike, while thinking to myself, ‘let’s seek him out’. As I repeated the cryptic clue in my head, suddenly the Italian restaurant, Zizzi’s, appeared in my mind and I smiled as I recalled the cycle shop down a laneway.

It all made sense.

Five minutes later I smiled again as I spotted the Chinese man in the laneway, who would soon be my new saviour. As he wheeled my bike inside, he explained most chains take five minutes to fix but the chain guards always make it more trickly. I felt relieved, like he validated my hopelessness, as I explained I wasn’t sure if I should have the skills to fix it on the street where it happened.

While watching his struggle with the bike chain, finally using a screwdriver to detach the chain guard, before struggling some more, to then fix it, more relief flooded in as I realized there was no way I could have fixed it by myself. After paying a mere £5 for the pleasure and wiping my dirty fingers with a wet wipe towel I was soon back cycling in the sunshine. Back on track, totally grateful for seeking out help.

So lets examine the steps to welcoming in help:

3. Encounter an issue. Pause. Always pause. Don’t rush into anything, take a five minute breathe to figure out your options.

4. Establish who in your community can support you. Remember, you may not know who your community is until you need them. Use social media or friends of friends. Someone always knows someone who can help.

5. Seek help. Don’t wait, ask away.

6. Dust yourself off. Your ego may feel a little dainted you needed someone to be your saviour, that’s OK.

7. Carry on with life. Now the obstacle is gone, flow back into your life. Don’t worry about ‘what happens if it happens again’. You’ll figure it out again!

8. High five yourself for knowing when help is required. Yes to that.

‘Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.'